Just The Girl
by DarkHunter7
Summary: She was just the girl who left them when they needed her most...
1. Strange

**Disclaimer: So I don't own nuffin. Well, it doesn't mean I can't pretend...**

**A/N: So this is a new story which will be from a different character POV for the first few chapters. Enjoy :)**

Just The Girl

Preface: Strange

It was a strange day.

It was a strange day because, for the first time in a long time, the Great Hall was silent. A dead weight hung heavily over the students creating an unhealthy, stifling atmosphere.

It was also strange because four boys were seated silently at the Gryffindor table. Not talking, not making a mess, not looking around. The loudest was silent, the thoughtful one thoughtless, the inquisitive one blank and the obnoxious, argumentative one comforting the recipient of his obnoxious arguments.

Strange.

The Headmaster Albus Dumbledore stood and surveyed the faces of the students. He sighed heavily and began. "There is no way to sufficiently commemorate the precious life of one of our students. Helena Damask will not be forgotten by those who knew of her, and forever remembered by those who did. There will be a minutes' silence to remember one of our most respected and hard-working students. I hope you will use this minute to recall the time shared with Helena wisely. Thank you."

The bell sounded; its knell reverberating round the entire school signalling the silence that was to ensue. Everyone stood up or froze where they were. After a few seconds of expected stool scraping and fidgeting everything was still.


	2. Saviour

**Peter POV:**

Saviour

Peter Pettigrew fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat; his bottom was becoming numb from sitting down for too long. He risked a glance sideways to see Remus frowning at the table, as if he was thinking deeply. Peter knew this was a sure sign that he was upset. It didn't take a genius to work it out. Strangely enough he felt rather indifferent towards the whole incident, emotionless. It was strange considering the fact that Helena had been a very kind friend and had even tutored him in reading and charms when no one else had even bothered or noticed.

He felt almost guilty for not feeling anything when it was evident that everyone else was sad. To Peter, they all looked the same; a sea of pale, sad faces that blended into one big emotional mess beneath him whilst he sailed off into the sunset, completely unaffected. Yes, that was the word. Unchanged, unmoved, unconcerned.

In an effort to feel something, he cast his mind back to the time when Helena had first come to his rescue in second year; he remembered the first conversation with his saviour so clearly.

***

"Hello!" A tall dark haired girl said, smiling brightly at him.

"Erm, Hello." He squeaked back.

"Do you mind if I sit here? There's a seat at the back but I'd much rather sit with you." Peter looked quizzically at her. Was she being serious? He couldn't tell so he nodded faintly and looked down at his text book. He turned his head minutely to look towards the back of the classroom. His jaw dropped.

Sirius Black was lounging at the desk with the only other spare seat in the room. Turning back to face the front, Peter wondered who on earth would choose to sit next to him over Sirius. Well, evidently her.

He was pulled back from his thoughts when the girl turned to him and said "Helena Damask, nice to meet you".

He took her proffered hand and whispered "Peter Pettigrew".

They were interrupted by the arrival of the charms professor and Helena noticed the way Peter almost wilted in his chair as soon as the teacher had entered the room. The Professor began with no introduction whatsoever. "Now today, we will be testing your basic charms knowledge from first year with a quiz. Split into pairs please."

Peter had always hated this part the most. Before he had come to Hogwarts, his parents had believed it to be 'beneficiary' to send him to a muggle primary school. It had been the worst four years of his short life, always being picked on for his size and always being chosen last.

"Hey Peter, can we pair up? It doesn't matter if you want to go with someone else-" Helena began.

"No, no" he replied, not too quickly – he didn't want to appear desperate in his first lesson.

"Great" She beamed.

Once the quiz was levitated onto the desk, Peter leaned forward to scan the questions and a wave of trepidation engulfed him. He didn't remember anything from his text books; they were so confusing and hard to read. He felt utterly pathetic as he realised Helena was probably much cleverer than him and would ditch him when she saw how stupid he was.

Helena peered over his shoulder and smiled after she read out the first question. "I think the answer is levitation, do you?"

Peter bit his lip and nodded. Helena waited expectantly for Peter to read the second question. He hesitated and began slowly

"What... is...the...corr...correct....me...thod...to...charm...a...a...tea...cup...into...a...pir...pir..." his mind and tongue flailed desperately around the word that evaded him.

"Piranha" Helena finished gently for him. "See, the 'h' is silent" she smiled kindly at him and he turned his face down to prevent her from seeing the burning that was building behind his eyes. "Peter-" she began.

"No –don't bother, I already know I'm stupid! I don't need to be told again" He hissed.

"Peter I was not going to say you were stupid, look how you answered the first question, at least you're trying"

"Trying is not good enough" Peter repeated the words his father had constantly reminded him of when he had been caned for failing anything.

"Trying is everything" Helena whispered fiercely. "Whoever told you that was wrong. Do you know what I think?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I think you were told that by someone who themselves is a failure, you are twelve years old, you have so much potential and yet you speak as if you have missed your chance"

"I am a failure" Peter muttered still not meeting her gaze.

"Failure is an event, never a person" Helena repeated the well know proverb.

"Whoever said that is either stupid or a liar" Peter said stubbornly.

"Or a genius" Helena smiled at Peter's resistance. He would crumble. "Let me help you"

He finally looked at her, his eyes narrowed. "What? Why?"

"Because I can" She replied simply.

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should" Peter had his own wise words with which to fight.

"No. It means I must" Helena smiled triumphantly and Peter managed a small smile back.

"Ok, but promise you won't tell anyone, please"

"Scout's honour"

Peter smiled. Maybe those years at a muggle school would prove useful after all...

***

Peter was suddenly drawn back to the present by the sound of the second bell, signalling the end of the silence. He had a sudden epiphany as he left the Great Hall. He knew why he was unaffected. It was because he could not bring himself to hate her murderer. Her killer was so great, he was power incarnate, and Peter revelled in his presence. The Dark Lord was his only master, and no trivial school loyalties would matter in the end. There was only power, and those who were against it would fall.

Just like Helena.


	3. Kinship

**Remus POV:**

Kinship

The bell that sounded echoed across the mind of one Remus Lupin. It was heavy and painful to his sensitive ears, a sharp reminder of the reason for his headache. Helen had been a soothing balm to his complicated life, and now the only person outside the Marauders and Snape who knew the truth of him was dead. Taken. Why? He didn't know.

The worst part of this whole situation had been telling his Aunt Amandine that her daughter, her little Helena, was gone. The second to worst part had been telling her that he didn't even know how, where or exactly when she had died.

The sound of Aunt Mandi's keening had been too much to bear. Her screams of "Why did they take her?" resounded over and over in his head. Remus had a nasty suspicion that the responsibility lay with someone at school, a Death Eater inside Hogwarts who was picking off students; one, by one, by one. He shivered in fear and disgust.

He lifted his eyes from the hole he had been burning into the table, willing each grain to absorb some of his pain. To his left, Peter looked uncomfortable; he had been acting strangely for a while now, but under the circumstances that was to be expected.

Or was it?

Peter was regularly absent with only a vague explanation and was becoming increasingly flighty. No. Remus vigorously shook himself mentally, how could he even think that for one second? Of one of his best friends? He was becoming paranoid. He pushed that scary thought to the back of his mind.

He refocused on Helena. His cousin Helen. Now was a time to remember the good times, the very best times he spent with Helen. At random, a memory took him away from the present.

***

"Remus, are you coming? We're going to miss out on the best seats if you don't get your hairy bum into gear" Helena called over her shoulder, trying in vain to drag her bulging trunk from the trolley onto the Hogwarts Express.

"Oh, I'm sorry Queen Helen, maybe the reason I can't get onto the train is because of your over-stuffed trunk" Remus quipped.

Helena faked offence. "Well why don't you give the fair maiden a hand then?" She smiled haughtily and stepped forward, away from her trunk. Bad idea. Remus watched in slow motion as the trunk fell out of the train and onto the platform with a deafening crash, knocking Helen over in the process. Remus stifled a laugh as the trunk lid popped open spilling all Helen's 'necessary' items including cat food, a football and a feather boa; Remus had learned long ago not to ask.

"That boy has no manners. Let me help you princess" A voice said from behind Remus.

He turned to see a boy of the same age standing with an arm outstretched to Helen who looked slightly dazed after being hit on the head by the tin of cat food. She took his hand and he pulled her up. Remus recognised him instantly. Sirius Black, family member to the Slytherin students Bellatrix and Narcissa Black. He cast Remus an uncharacteristic wary glance, judging his reaction to the almost regal Black family member. Sirius may be a Black, but Remus was not one to judge by any stretch of the imagination. He would also never take him seriously if he wanted to be treated like royalty.

"No he doesn't. Are you going to valiantly rescue me from my evil cousin?" Helen inquired.

"Hmmm, well, I could take you to my luxury compartment. Oh, and since I'm so merciful, your 'evil' cousin can come too" Sirius said with mock seriousness.

"I have manners!" Remus objected.

"Sure" Helen smiled.

"Anyway, shall we get on the train or do you want to stay out her and argue over manners?" Sirius interjected.

All three of them chucked Helen's things back into her trunk and Remus and Sirius both sat on top of the lid whilst Helen attempted to fasten it back together.

Sirius sighed. "Girls and their 'necessities'"

Remus laughed, he liked this Sirius Black already.

Finally, the two boys and Helen found a spare compartment and sank into seats, having had to drag the equivalent of a whole year's worth of things just for Helen – not just for the autumn term which they were about to begin. Sirius' trunk was suspiciously light.

"Where's all the rest of your stuff" Helen enquired.

Sirius looked puzzled. "What other stuff?"

"You know clothes and things."

Sirius just smirked. "That is everything. The rest of the space will be filled with stuff from Honeydukes and Zonko's "

"First years can't go to Hogsmeade. How do you get there? Can you show me?" Helen had a mischievous look in her eyes.

"Of course princess, as soon as I work out how to get there myself. Remus, are you in?"

Remus was surprised that Sirius even knew his name.

"Well-"He began.

"Oh come on Remmie, it will be fun! Where's your sense of adventure?" Sirius grinned. Helen laughed.

"Ok, but only if you stop calling me Remmie" Remus had a horrible feeling that the name might stick. This was unfortunately proved correct by Sirius' answer.

"Good choice...Remmie" Sirius smirked.

The next sequence of events happened very quickly.

There was a huge flash of light and a crack in the corridor just outside the compartment door which was flung open suddenly. A boy dived inside and slammed the door shut again. He sat down and smoothed his hair which was sticking up in a thousand places. He pushed a pair of round glasses back up his nose and grinned.

"So, what did I miss?" He said, so casually that it would appear to an outsider that he had been sitting there for the entire conversation.

"Remmie and Princess Helen here have decided to help us find a way to get to Hogsmeade" Sirius told him.

"Brilliant. Wait, I thought you were called Remus?" The boy looked confused. How did everyone know his name? Did he have an unknown reputation already? Only three people knew about his 'furry' issues; the headmaster Albus Dumbledore, Helena and himself and he intended to keep it that way.

"Oh Jamsie, you've taken one too many bludgers to the head. Remus is now known as Remmie" Sirius appeared pretty pleased with himself. Remus glared at him.

"James Potter" James stuck his hand out to Remus and Helen.

"Remus Lupin "

"Helena Damask. Not to be nosy, but what exactly was going on outside just then?" Hmm Remus wasn't sure that he wanted to know.

"Well," James began, "there's this really slimy boy called Severus Snape..."

***

Remus found himself smiling at the memory as the second bell rang. That conversation had created the friendship of the trio, which soon became the quartet in second year after they met Peter through Helen. The Marauders had been officially born through Helen's cat food, which had come in useful on a number of obscure occasions that required Apollyon Pringle's cat Mr Morris being silenced with food. Remus had always wondered why she had carried such things around with her.

As Helen used to say "Always be prepared".

Unfortunately, there were some things which Remus had never been prepared for, one being the death of his only cousin Helen. If he had gone back in time knowing what would happen to Helen, he was sure that warning his past self would still not prepare him. He was lost. They were all lost and there was no Helen with her cat food to save them.

**A/N: Next chapter will be from Sirius' or Snape's POV :) Please review!**


	4. Soulsick

**A/N: Yeah...I obviously don't own Shakespeare's quote :)**

**Sirius ****POV****:**

Soulsick

Empty.

Devoid of feeling, of emotion, of anything. That was Sirius Black at this moment in time. It had been about a week since life as he knew it had ended. Ok, that was a lie. It had been exactly six days, fourteen hours, ten minutes and fifty six seconds; Sirius Black had felt each and every single one of them.

Sitting in the Great Hall in silence was a depressing affair at the best of times, but this was just bleak. What they needed was Helena. Hellsabells he used to call her. Lena sometimes. Princess often. The words of some old, famous Muggle came to mind and he almost smiled. Almost.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

It was a good thing that Sirius held no stock by name or family or house. Otherwise he and Lena would have been enemies from the off. She was a Damask - a blood-traitor - and he was a Black, from that long and legendary Slytherin line. Thank Merlin he was not conventional or narrow-minded.

The old cliché – "you don't know what you've got until it's gone" – was so true at this point that it hurt. Stabbed him like a knife every time he inhaled. Another breath. Life-giving air filling his lungs. Air that would never fill Lena's body again. He begrudged himself every one he took as if he were stealing it from her. It was an effort to drag air in and breathe.

He had to escape the present. He wanted so desperately to live in the past. Change it, repair it. Avoid the present at all costs.

***

"Somebody knows!" Remus shouted without preamble, bursting into the fifth year boys' dorm. His face held a beige tinge and looked waxy when combined with the perspiration from anxiety and running.

James jerked his head so fast he trapped a nerve and winced. Peter's mouth was agape. Remus swayed ominously. Sirius leaped from his bed and pushed Remus onto his own bed before his legs gave way. He put his hands down heavily on either shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "Who?" he demanded.

"I knew it! It was on the desk and then it was gone. They wouldn't have known. Why would they take it? I can't find them! Any of them-" Remus was almost feverish in his babbling.

"Moony" Sirius commanded shaking his shoulders in an attempt to get through to Remus. Snap some sense into him.

Remus continued as if nothing had interrupted him. "I checked! There were only a few but I couldn't be sure – what if I missed someone? What if they find out? They could tell everyone-" He paused only to draw a huge gulp of air into his lungs. It was then that Peter seized his chance.

"I'm a lesbian!" Peter yelled.

That stopped Remus right in his tracks. James, Remus and Sirius all cocked their heads at the same time in disbelief.

"Now, listen to me. Who knows about you?" Sirius asked, quickly recovering from the revelation of Peter's...gender confused orientation.

"More importantly, how did they find out? We need to make sure it doesn't happen again" James interjected.

"That's the problem, I don't know" Remus fisted his hands in his hair. "I was researching in a potions book to see if there was anything to help with my 'problem'. There wasn't much, but I thought I was onto something so I put some bits of parchment in the pages, and then I went off to get another book, but when I got back it was gone."

James sighed in relief. "Well that's ok because they won't necessarily know it was you...or someone might have just put it back on the shelf"

"Yeah, and even if they did know it was you, you could just be interested in werewolves" Peter added reasonably.

"But I tried to summon it, and I looked on every shelf in that forsaken place. I even asked if it had been checked out" Remus moved his hands down over his face.

"And was it?" Sirius asked, dread building.

"Missing" was the muffled reply from Remus.

"Well, there's nothing to link it back to you is there?" Peter asked hesitantly.

"I wrote down a list of ingredients and the dates of the full moon"

James' eyes widened and his pupils dilated. "The full moon is tomorrow night"

Horror flooded the other three boys as Remus replied "I know"

Sirius tried to think rationally "Who was in the library?"

Remus lifted his head. "Well, Lily was talking to the librarian the entire time and Helen left when I returned to my table. But they were over the other side of the library, and they would have had to pass a group of seventh year Slytherins to get to my table." Peter opened his mouth to state the obvious but Remus continued, "And I know it wasn't them because I could see them from where I was standing. There were some other people on the next table over, but I wasn't concentrating on how many or who was there. Lily said she hadn't seen anyone, but she was a bit preoccupied at the time"

"Right. I'm going to find Lily" James resolved.

James opened the dorm room door to leave and tripped over a book. A heavy potions book. A heavy potions book with ripped parchment marking several pages. There was a letter on the top with no name on the front. He tore it open and ran back into the room. His eyes quickly scanned the page and he visibly relaxed, smiled. "It's ok Moony. It says: 'Your secret's safe with me' and it's from Hells. Here, read it" he passed the letter to Remus.

"Why would Lena have taken it though?" Sirius mused.

"Who knows" Remus sighed. "I didn't see her with the book though."

Sirius was partly relieved to know it was only Remus' cousin who knew the truth, but it was one more person who could let slip and cause a catastrophe. That was the problem with secrets; the more people who knew, the greater the risk. Sirius was all about risk taking, but not when it concerned one of his friends. He was not at all pacified by the fact that the book had been returned and no harm done. Sirius was convinced that there was more to this than Lena had let on. He had to speak to her.

"I'll be back later" Sirius called over his shoulder.

---

He found Lena outside on the Quidditch pitch. She was soaring through the sky on her broom practicing with the Quaffle, throwing it above her head and diving for it after a few seconds. Sirius smiled and pulled out his wand. "Accio Quaffle" he murmured.

The ball fell through the air towards him and Lena followed intent upon the Quaffle. It was only when the ball stopped and hung in mid-air that she noticed someone was holding it. She stopped abruptly in front of the offending body.

Quelle surprise. It was Sirius Black.

"Why are you interrupting my game?" she asked irritated.

"I wanted to say thank you for what you did today" No point in beating about the bush. "I hope you meant what you said, because if you don't, princess, there will be consequences." He lowered his voice, softly menacing, imperious.

"Sirius, are you serious?" she smiled in disbelief. When Sirius did not respond her smile faded. "Of course I meant what I said, Remus is my cousin, how could you think I would betray him? I have dealt with it" she finished angry and hurt.

Sirius' face changed abruptly. "Dealt with what?" he asked warily.

Lena turned her face away from his.

"Dealt with who princess? Tell me please. Lena." Sirius repeated softening his tone.

"It doesn't matter" she replied still not looking at him.

"Please, it's important to me, to Remus" Sirius whispered trying to hide his urgency.

She finally met his eyes and held his gaze for a few seconds as if battling internally. Loyalty to Remus won out. "Severus" she whispered, her eyes darting away from the anger she was sure Sirius would have flashing across his eyes. She was reluctant to cause Sirius to get into trouble again.

He should have known. Cold, icy shock washed over Sirius. It was quickly replaced by building rage. Sirius heard Lena pull in a long nervous breath and looked up at her. The anger partly abated, tendrils of rage receding to the back of his brain. He was scaring her. Guilt poked his conscience.

"Thank you for telling me. Come here" Sirius asked evenly, opening his arms to her. She walked into them without a moment's hesitation after she saw that he wasn't angry and looking for an argument. He pulled her close and closed his eyes. He knew Lena better than most people and saw that behind her confident front, sometimes she was just as scared and weak as everyone else. Although she could be competitive and bold as a Chaser, she was peaceful and hated for him to bully Snivellus.

"I saw him take it so I went after him" She began into his chest. Sirius remained silent waiting for her to continue. "I stopped him and he realised he'd been caught so he gave it back" Sirius' mouth was set in a hard line. He knew he had just been given a highly censored version of events.

"Don't try to protect him. What did he say, exactly?"

"I don't remember word for word" she denied stubbornly.

"I can always resort to Veritaserum" Sirius bluffed.

"Liar. I know you don't have any. You'll just get angry if I tell you" she saw straight through him as if he were a window.

"I won't, I promise, just for you"

"I feel so special now, shall we make an unbreakable vow to make you keep your word?" she asked sarcastically.

Sirius loved how she could look so vulnerable one minute and then be so sassy the next. No one else would disrespect him when he was trying to be serious like this. Apart from her. Always her.

"Just tell me"

"Fine. He said I was protecting 'that monster', insulted me a bit, and then chucked the book on the floor saying how he 'didn't need it anyway' blah, blah, blah" she sighed. "Same as usual really" Judging by the purple tinge under her right eye, Sirius surmised that Snivellus had mistaken Lena's face for the floor. He lightly traced his fingers over the bruise and felt the anger and hatred rising once more.

Sirius had never understood how Snape could be friends with Lily, who was Muggle-born, whilst be so nasty towards Lena who had been nothing but nice to him. He heavily suspected that it must be something to do with Snivelly's pathetic infatuation with Lily. He, Sirius, was not going to be the one to suggest it to James when it was not a solid fact. Lily knew nothing of his bullying.

Sirius had a lot of respect for someone who could keep people's secrets, and when he had found out about Lena it had only endeared her to him more. Not that he hadn't liked her in the beginning, quite the opposite really.

He also knew that Lena had been bullied, but she had never told him explicitly who. He had always assumed it was Snivellus and this all but confirmed it. If he asked she would only deny it. He needed to hear her say the words to someone, if not to him. He dared not image what he had really said to her, it would only fuel his murderous fury.

"He won't try to interfere anymore." Lena tried to pacify Sirius whose muscles she could feel flexing around her.

Silly, silly Lena. She was much more naive that she believed. Snape would not stop. He was like a dog with a bone most of them time and now this book would only fuel his morbid curiosity about Remus and his disappearances. It was time for revenge. If Snivelly wanted to know the truth, Sirius would give it to him. A plan was already formulating in his mind, he would 'accidentally' announce in from of the scum how to freeze the Whomping Willow. He smiled darkly.

***

Sirius would never forget the grim satisfaction of knowing that he had instilled such fear into a human being who had ruined another's life. Not just any other though. Lena. His princess. And now she was dead and he had no one to blame.

Someone had taken the most important person in the world from him and there was nothing that he could do back that would equal the pain he felt. Murder would still not be enough, nothing would ever be enough.

By the time Sirius came back to the present, everyone else had left. The Great Hall was deserted. With only one thought on his mind, he stumbled out of the Entrance Hall in the direction of Hogsmeade.

**A/N: Pleaseeeeeee review, you know you want to :)**


	5. Friendship

**James POV:**

Friendship

Looking around the Gryffindor table, James Potter didn't think he had ever seen a sorrier bunch of people. Each one was shrouded in their own grief, physically together yet so alone. Both Sirius and Lily looked absolutely soul destroyed. Lily had lost her best friend and Sirius...well, James couldn't be certain, but after Hells had revealed her knowledge of Remus' 'furry little problem' Sirius had stopped playing the field. It surprised him even now, but love did funny things to people, even Sirius Black.

James had not only lost a superb Chaser, but he had also lost a great friend, one who he could go to for advice when the other Marauders were clueless. She had helped him through a very dark and difficult period during sixth year when his parents had been extremely ill and he would be eternally grateful to her.

To his right, Lily Evans was hunched over, her shoulders wound so tight that even the slightest movement rocked her. James put his arm around her and gently pulled her towards him, no stupid comments, nothing but comfort. She sagged against him, all her grief dispersing into the surroundings.

During the silence, James' mind flashed through his memories of Hells. His favourite memory of her was when she had shocked the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team in more ways than one and made Sirius Black blush...

***

"Right, I want all of you in a line now!"

James watched as a relatively large group of students scuttled into a long line behind...Helena Damask? What in Merlin's name was she doing at the Gryffindor tryouts? James turned to his left to see Sirius looking straight back at him in shock.

"Third Years mount your brooms and do a couple of laps of the pitch. Go" the Gryffindor captain, Jason Tank shouted.

James and Sirius watched mouths agape as Helena rocketed past them twice, lapping everyone before landing, completely unruffled right beside the shell shocked boys. "Don't look so surprised, Sirius" she smirked, tapping his cheek twice before pushing his jaw closed and sauntering over to the captain.

Tank as he was known, was clearly impressed. Once the rest of the contenders had landed, he paired them up with members of the existing team to observe their skills in the air.

James was paired with Helena and Sirius with a hopeless case named Eric. James and Helena watched with increasing amusement as Sirius tried to throw very easy balls for Eric who – armed with a Beaters bat – sent the balls flying in all directions. James thanked every god he could think of for making Tank replace the Bludgers with tennis balls. One had already hit a student in the face, knocking him out and another had just whistled past Sirius' head smashing a charms classroom window. He certainly had potential, but it was buried deep, very deeply under layers of misdirection and a dangerous, wild swing.

Helena on the other hand was a dream, the perfect Chaser for the team. Sirius grew tired with his unstable partner and told James arrogantly that he was "Not testing Helena enough"

James threw the Quaffle at Sirius' head. "Go on then, if you think you're so great" he turned to Helena and whispered, "Give him hell" with a wink. She grinned conspiratorially and nodded.

"Watch the true master, Jamsie, if you will" Sirius boasted.

"Do your worst" she called. James and Eric watched with glee as Sirius threw a fast ball above Helena's head and she stood up on her broom to catch it. She hurled it back so fast it blurred and smashed into his hand with a powerful thud. He gasped in pain.

Sirius threw seemingly unreachable balls that Helena never failed to catch. After ten minutes he conceded defeat and snarled at James who was doubled over on his broom with laughter. Still grinning, he flew over to Helena and high-fived her. "Brilliant, Hells."

She smiled back at James. "Oh Sirius" Helena called innocently, "I just thought you might like to see something I made for you" Helena turned around in the air and lifted the back of her school robes. On her knickers were the words: 'Anything Sirius can do, I can do better' in fluorescent colours.

Sirius blushed half in anger and half in embarrassment. James howled with laughter and slapped Sirius across the back. "Now that was priceless, Mr I'm-A-True-Master"

"Welcome to the team, practice starts on Monday at eight" Tank interrupted and shook Helena's hand who was now sitting back on her broom facing the boys. He turned to leave. "Why is Sirius blushing?"

James snorted and Eric piped up, "Sirius just got beaten by a girl!"

Tank grinned "So, Sirius, seems you're slipping. Can't have that, beaten by a new player? What would the Slytherins say? Extra practice for you, Sunday mornings at nine for a month." With that he flew off.

"What?" Sirius groaned. "No way am I doing it. This season is turning into hell already"

"I resent that" Helena smiled.

"Yeah" James agreed, "with Hells on the team, this'll be our best season yet. We finally have someone else who can take you down a peg or two" Sirius growled and descended towards the changing rooms.

***

James had barely noticed he was still in the hall before another memory recalled him into the past.

***

"I hate him, he's such an idiot!" Lily was storming around the apparently empty Common Room. James was standing near the bottom of the boys' dormitory staircase hidden from view.

"He isn't that bad Lils, you just never see him when he isn't messing about" Helena said.

"How do you expect me to react when he's always walking around as if he owns the place? You say there's another side to him but if he doesn't show it, how am I supposed to see it?" Lily was becoming louder and louder as she became more enraged.

"Well why don't you try!" Helena exploded. "All you ever do is criticise and insult him! I know he annoys you but he's never horrible to you is he? " Helena was flushed and standing now. "Just because he bullies Snape doesn't make him the worst person in the world. Severus isn't completely innocent, Lily, you just never see his bad side!" Helena gasped and covered her mouth. She had said too much.

All the blood drained out of Lily's face. "What?" she whispered.

Helena took a deep, calming breath. "James is a good, kind person who is totally loyal. You would be lucky to count him as a friend. All I'm saying is maybe you should give him a chance"

There was a short, loaded silence.

"What did you mean about Severus, Hellie?" Lily asked hesitantly.

"Nothing, I was just saying-"

"Tell me" Lily demanded.

Helena sighed. "Look, I'm just saying you judge James on his behaviour when Snape is no angel either. He's pulled a few of his own nasty little surprises in his time"

Lily gasped. "Was it him Hellie? Was it him?"

James had no idea what they were talking about now, but Lily seemed to get her answer from Helena's reluctance to answer. It seemed the girls could tell what the others' answers were even without speaking. Weird.

Realising that the conversation concerning him was over he turned to leave, coming face to face with none other than Sirius. James jumped in surprise and Sirius had to clamp his hand over James' arm to stop him falling down the last steps into the Common Room.

"Do you know what they're talking about?" James whispered. Sirius nodded grimly, his grey eyes dark with rage.

"Old Snivelly thought it would be funny to bully Lena. I knew she had been bullied but she never said who it was directly. Until now." Sirius snarled and his hand compressed James' arm tightly. "Prongs, it's time for a bit of payback, don't you think?"

"What do you suggest?" James grimaced.

"Don't worry; I have a plan, let's just say that Snivelly might learn to keep his massive nose out of other people's business from now on."

James wondered ominously what Sirius was going to do. He knew retribution would be harsh and he had to stop Sirius doing something completely dangerous. Now was not a good time; tomorrow was the full moon and all the Marauders would all be stressed before they transformed. This would just make Sirius more volatile than usual.

With anxiety twisting his mind, James headed up to the dorm to pretend to sleep.

***

Although Padfoot had got his revenge and Snivelly had been banned from revealing Moony's secret, James hated him for having something to dangle over Moony's head which made him sick with worry. Moony had been completely innocent and had never even insulted that snake.

The only good that had come out of it had been that Snivellus never bullied Hells again, and Lily stopped being friends with him soon after. Neither Helena nor Lily would tell him why, but he respected her loyalty to Lily. She had even silently endured Snivellus' torments to protect his friendship with Lily. James had never known someone so selfless.

Hells had even defended him to the hilt and that made James' heart swell with pride and gratitude. He wished he knew what had happened to her, not just for himself but for Lily and Sirius and Remus. They needed closure, all of them.

As soon as the bell ended, Lily was gone, running away from everything and for once, James did not follow her. She needed space.

James stood slowly. Sirius had not moved a muscle since he had sat down at the table. An immovable, cold statue had overtaken him and James did not want to disturb him. James guessed that he must have looked similar during his parents' illnesses. It had been Hells who had pulled him through, dragging him back to normality even when the Marauders could not get through to him. Now Hells was gone, who would rescue Sirius? James didn't know.

Helena Damask had done a lot for him and he would never, ever forget it. James walked away from the table, his mind on three of the most important people in his life. Sirius, Lily and Helena.


	6. Sick

**A/N: I'm really sorry about how long it's taken me to update – I had so much Art to do and exams coming up so please be patient. Enjoy!**

Severus POV:

Sick

The sensation of drowning was a strange one, mused Severus Snape.

It was not one that Severus would have chosen, but it was one he had endured nevertheless.

A sniffle from across the deadened Great Hall drew his attention away from his morbid thoughts and turned them into much darker, resentful ones. The sniffle belonged to Lily Evans. The arm around her shoulder did not belong to Lily Evans, nor did it belong there. Ever.

Helena Damask sprung to mind at this moment. She had been Lily's best friend, a brilliant Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, a cooperative of the Marauders and an obstacle.

How he hated her.

Although he had not been surprised to hear of Damask's death, he was surprised that the possibility of a student's involvement was disregarded so early on into her disappearance and subsequent death. If it had been his choice, he would have killed her straight away; he wouldn't have left her for them. That was even too far for him.

Turning away from Potter and Lily in their own private bubble of grief, Severus frowned at the events that had transpired over the past week, and reflected bitterly on how they had not helped him at all on his quest for Lily Evans' heart.

Helena Damask was a pain even in death.

His thoughts once again returned to drowning, this time in self-pity, and he remembered the first time that he had met that stubborn, interfering pain in the backside that had been nothing but trouble for him - a plague if you will - since day one...

***

"See that one, over there, that's him" James Potter pointed at a skinny, dishevelled looking boy with coal black hair which obscured his face from view. "Severus Snape" James spat with derision.

Sirius grinned nastily and narrowed his eyes at his new 'target'. "Don't worry, I have a plan"

Before anyone could ask, Sirius disappeared into the crowd of students.

"Righ' all you firs' years, follow me" A floating lantern yelled.

Severus scrutinised the lantern and realised that there was a giant, bearded, wild looking man holding it up to guide the way. Severus turned to see his best friend Lily Evans gawping up at this 'giant' in awe.

"Come on" He nudged her arm.

The two of them stumbled their way along the track which opened up onto the famous Hogwarts Lake. Severus thought that if Lily didn't stop gawping, her jaw would stay that way and permanently drag along the ground.

"I wan' you four to a boat" lantern man announced over the excited babbling that had broken out amongst the First Years.

Lily and Severus got into a boat together and another girl climbed in behind them.

"Hello" she smiled at them both.

"Hi" Lily replied whilst Severus merely nodded, mentally cursing that they had to have _her _in the boat with them.

In the next boat across, the three boys minus Sirius were discussing his absence.

"if he doesn't come back in the next minute he's going to get left behind" Remus stated.

Peter looked around anxiously, but James merely smiled lazily and sighed. "He'll be back"

Remus thought this highly unlikely as the boats stirred and edged away from the land, into the water. A black blur crashed out of the trees and leaped from the bank into their boat causing it to wobble.

"Told you" James said casually, completely unperturbed by Sirius' wild entrance.

Looking as if he had been dragged through a proverbial bush, Sirius righted himself and once more the ominous grin stretched across his mouth.

"What have you done" Remus asked dreading the answer.

"Wrong question" James interjected.

"Huh?"

"The question is: What are we going to do"

Remus and Peter exchanges puzzled looks. Peter's eyes lit up as Sirius pulled a huge stick from under his cloak, as if unsheathing a sword. James and Peter grinned.

"Where in Merlin's name did you get that?" Remus asked.

Sirius just shrugged "Look Remmie, you have to be resourceful when dealing with the enemy"

"You have an enemy already?" Peter asked with admiration barely concealed in his voice, Remus gave him a sideways glance but said nothing.

Before Remus could speak again, Sirius reached over the side of the little boat which rocked precariously. James grabbed onto the back of his black robes and counter balanced his weight by sitting on the opposite side of the tiny boat.

"Remus" James pleaded.

Remus sighed and moved to sit next to James; he would not get involved in this, at least, not directly anyway. Peter continued to watch the events with excitement. Sirius extended the arm holding onto the stick and jabbed Severus in the back, who turned sharply and threw Sirius a dirty look. This seemed only to fuel the fire.

Sirius whacked his stick into the side of the boat and grinned as it rocked violently. Lily and Helena did not look very impressed, but Severus turned once again and snarled at Sirius.

"What's the matter Black? Do you need your nanny here to make the boats speed up? Not fast enough for you?"

Sirius was sufficiently goaded, and with an almighty swing, aimed the stick at Severus so that it hit him around the waist and knocked him clean out of the boat which tipped suddenly towards Helena and Lily. Luckily Lily had the sense to leap over to Severus' vacated seat to steady the boat, and leaned over the edge to help him. Although Sirius had almost capsized their own boat in an effort to unseat Severus, himself, Peter and James burst into laughter. Remus merely smiled in relief that they had not followed Snape into the freezing waters.

Helena anxiously looked over her own side when Lily did not see Severus resurface. All she could see was water as dark and smooth as a black mirror, disturbed only by the motion of the unsteady boat.

---

Falling headfirst into ice cold, pitch black water shocked the air out of Severus' lungs. He sank a few metres before his body could even respond to his situation. All-encompassing, uninterrupted darkness contrasted with the panic of watching precious air bubbles escape from his mouth and float upwards to the surface.

Suddenly, his limbs jerked into action and his previously suspended body started to flail uselessly. Calm down, he thought ferociously. His hands began to claw upwards, propelling him forward. Hopelessness enveloped him as his lungs slowly filled with water, searing and burning as he choked.

The worst part was not knowing how far away from the surface he was, as the night was as dark as the lake. Terror filled him as he imagined how many fathoms deep the lake must be, and how many dangerous creatures must inhabit it. The thought of a huge beast dragging him to his death gave him a final burst of strength to send him thrashing to the surface of the lake.

Relief. He gasped. The pure euphoria at dragging in a huge, burning breath was indescribable. Two hands grabbed his shoulders and hauled him upwards onto the side of the boat. Lily. It must be Lily he thought. Opening one eye, he saw none other than the girl who had got into the boat with them. The Damask girl, from the famous blood traitor family. Damn.

Suddenly he felt guilt edge over his relief as he lay coughing, breathing raggedly. This girl had saved his life and all he cared about was Lily watching him embarrass himself. Way to make a good first impression on the people who would become his peers for the next seven years. He huffed in angry embarrassment and smacked away the hand that Helena offered him to help him up. "Don't touch me, you filthy little blood traitor. I don't need your help." He spat venomously at Helena, only loud enough for her to hear.

"Severus? Are you ok?" Lily asked from behind Helena.

"I'm fine" he replied shortly, with as much pride as he could muster considering the circumstances.

"Aren't you going to thank..." Lily began.

"Helena Damask" Helena provided shaking Lily's hand.

"Thank you" Severus spat not meeting anyone's eyes. Now he owed something to someone he hated and anger burned inside him at the mere thought.

Lily gave Severus a gimlet stare but said nothing. Instead she turned to Helena and began a conversation that did not include Severus.

***

Severus had not realised quite how significant that moment had been at the time; not immediately liking your dream girl's best friend was no way to get her to like you. Although calling Lily a 'Mudblood' had been a huge mistake, he was sure that Damask had interfered, planting doubts and malicious words in Lily's ears, turning her against him.

And now this. Lily and Potter cozying up together, no doubt Damask's doing, he though bitterly.

The only regret he had was that Damask had not died at a point when Lily had hated Potter; he thought that with Damask out of the picture, Lily would come running back to him, begging to be friends. How wrong he had been.

He looked skywards and spoke to Helena in his mind. "Why did you have to ruin everything Damask? You cannot even begin to understand how much I hate you right now – you couldn't even die properly. You ruined my chances with Lily, you made me even more enemies and you're a blood traitor who was never, ever good enough or deserved to be Lily's best friend. I hope you're happy, Damask" he screamed silently, pouring all his rage and unfounded revulsion into his outburst.

It sickened him that Lily had always taken _her _side over his, when he had been the one to tell her everything he knew about magic. it had been him who had befriended her when they were younger, him who taught her some magic even though it had taken him weeks to learn in order to show Lily how to perform spells. all loyalty to him had gone out of the window when Damask had turned up.

Furious with the world, Severus pushed violently away from the table and stormed out of the Hall after the bell had finished.

**A/N: Please review, even if you think it's a pile of rubbish :)**


	7. Heartsick

**A/N: Special thanks to**** BookLord. Read , ****Henrietta Frances**** and ****1278**** for the reviews! **

**FYI this is the first chapter that will be mainly present time, there will still be flashbacks after this but they will be much smaller.**

Lily POV:

Heartsick

Standing at the bench in the middle of the Gryffindor table, the words "She's dead, she's gone", repeatedly floated around her mind, nudging and poking their way back into her thoughts when her mind drifted - uncomfortably reminding her of the sad truth. Strange waves of intense heat sweeping from her head to her feet in short bursts every time she thought had nothing to do with the temperature.

When the bell finally rang again, Lily swung her leg over the bench and walked unsteadily towards the door, half-running, half-stumbling in a desperate attempt to escape this grief cocooning around her heart.

Once outside the Great Hall the much anticipated escape did not materialise; if anything, the cocoon began to constrict. She needed more space. She raced towards the main entrance and yanked the door open.

Outside, the wind was bitter whipping strands of hair all across her face and her mouth was set firmly shut. She felt barely able to speak and walked quickly with no destination. After an unknown amount of time she sat down on the grass with her arms surrounding her knees which were tucked under her chin. Her eyes stared at nothing in particular.

"Lily?"

Lily's eyes flickered to see a tall Hufflepuff standing a few feet away. Cliff Jones. 18. Not so bright. Unable to take a hint. Inwardly, she sighed wearily and closed her eyes.

When she did not respond, he sat down next to her and put an arm round her shoulder. "It's ok Lily, really. I know this is hard but you can count on me. Hey, why don't we go out to Hogsmeade and talk about it? Put on some slap and heels, you'll feel much better. Don't worry, no one will notice your puffy eyes and I can ignore them because they'll be gone soon enough eh?"

The churning emotions that had been swirling through her mind suddenly separated and rage surfaced, unbridled anger that needed a release. She wrenched his arm from her shoulder and stood up. "How dare you? How dare you say that you heartless bastard! She was my best friend and all you can say is 'no one will notice your puffy eyes'? Do you really think that make-up and shoes will make it better? Make anything better! You were always looking for ways to make me go out with you, but this is a new low. How could you?!" By the time she had finished her catharsis, she realised that she had been screaming at him. Suddenly all the rage drained out of her and remorse replace it.

Cliff who had just endured this feverish onslaught stood stock still, eyes wide, mouth agape.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, I...I...I just can't deal with this right now, please just-" Lily began as tears filled her eyes. Cliff stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. "Wait! What- ?" Lily was cut off by Cliff crushing his mouth to hers. Lily's eyes widened and a muffled scream built in her throat. She swung her arm back and smashed it across Cliff's cheek but he didn't even flinch, if anything he pulled her closer into his vice like grip to prevent her squirming.

This was turning out to be the worst day of her life.

---

Five minutes and his resolve was gone. James Potter left the wall that he had been leaning on and trudged out of the Entrance Hall to face the onslaught of a biting wind. He looked up and wrinkled his nose; there was a storm coming, he could tell.

Looking back down, he scanned the grounds but found no sign of Lily, nor anyone for that matter. He knew for certain that she had gone outside and he suspected that she might have gone down to the lake, it was a great place to think after all and one of "Hellie's Hotspots" as she had liked to call them. He smiled at the memory. Still smiling, James wandered in the direction of the lake thinking of Helena's other "Hotspots", including the caretaker Apollyon Pringle's office...

---

Lily clenched her teeth together to prevent Cliff from pushing his tongue into her mouth. He began to bite her lip causing her to wince from the acute pain. What if he bit so hard he broke the skin? Panicked, her breath was coming in short sharp pants through her nose and her heart beat so loudly in her ears that she almost missed the voice that stopped both her heart and Cliff in their tracks. It whispered so quietly, yet so powerfully it seemed almost physical, a fluid twisting rope which wrapped itself around Cliff's neck and yanked him sharply away from Lily's face. His eyes were wide with shock and fear.

What had just happened?

At the sound of footsteps, Lily jerked her head around and saw James Potter thundering towards them. Although Cliff had pulled away from her face, his hands still shackled her wrists and his grip did not loosen at the appearance of James.

Lily met James' eyes with a pleading look and without a word, James charged into Cliff, ripping his hands from Lily's wrists. She barely registered anything, save a slight breeze as James sailed past her. James and Cliff crashed to the ground and began to fight furiously, Cliff throwing wild punches at James' face. Unluckily for Cliff, James had play fought with Sirius and Remus far too many times to lose a real one, despite the fact that Cliff was far bulkier.

Rage burned in James' eyes. Why had Cliff tried to take advantage of Lily when she was so vulnerable? Rolling them over until James was on top, he punched Cliff as hard as he could, and a grim delight stole over him unbidden, when he felt Cliff's nose crunch beneath his fist. Cliff slowed his attempts to escape and James moved his face closer until he could see himself reflected in those wide, pain filled eyes. Cliff's pupils dilated in fear, leaving only an ice blue slither of iris surrounding his huge glassy pupils. "If you ever so much as look at Lily again when she doesn't want you to, I will do more than just break your nose. I'll rip it off and shove it where the sun don't shine. Is that clear?" James whispered menacingly, dangerously in his ear. Cliff nodded before James withdrew from him and stood up, brushing off his robes. Wounded, both physically and in pride, Cliff scrambled back towards the castle.

James turned to face Lily. It seemed an age to both of them before James slowly dragged his darkened gaze up to meet Lily's bright green eyes which burned him with something he could not read as of yet. He waited for her to speak. When she finally did, her voice barely carried, even though the wind had suddenly dropped, as if in the eye of the storm.

"Thank you"

"Anytime" James did not even bother to ask how she was; he already knew the answer, and no matter how many times he or anyone else asked it, the answer would always be the same default 'I'm fine'. Instead he stepped towards her and spread his arms.

Lily's gave did not waver and she felt an irrevocable pull towards James. A cold gust of wind blew against her back which only pushed her further into the comfort of James' arms. It made her shiver, it almost felt like fingertips against her shoulders and she turned her head around to check there was not someone there. At the feeling of James' hard warm body against her cheek she wanted to cry, that familiar bitter lump rose in her throat at the thought of Helena laughing at her with James. Here, like this.

Hundreds of memories assailed her, each one Helena: laughing, shouting, crying, sleeping, whispering. Regret washed over her as she remembered one particular evening in Sixth Year where she and Helena had been arguing over none other than James Potter himself.

***

Helena and Lily were sitting by the fire in the squashy armchairs, the rest of the Gryffindor students having already gone up to bed.

"You know one day you'll end up married to him" Helena said matter-of-factly, breaking the comfortable silence. Her casualness angered Lily when Potter had done nothing but aggravate her all day.

"Yeah, and McGonagall will strip naked and start singing in the Great Hall" Lily spat sarcastically.

"No, I'm serious"

Lily's eyes narrowed at this comment. "Hellie, are you completely blind?"

"I think the question is, are you?" Helena pinned Lily with a piercing glare. She could be very astute sometimes.

"Merlin you sound just like Sirius" Lily huffed.

Helena ignores this comment and brought round their age old argument once again. "Give him a chance, Lils. You know he would do anything for you."

"Like what? I told him to stop hexing people and deflate his head, remember? And did he do that? No"

"Oh but he did. And that was in Fifth Year! You ignored him after that so how would you know anyway? I'm the one that spends time with him."

If only Helena knew the truth. Lily had been watching James like a hawk since day one and although he infuriated her, she couldn't seem to stop – he was far to compelling, and, she had to admit, amusing.

"If you don't believe me ask Remus" Helena finished.

"Remus, why?"

"He would tell you exactly what James has done for him, and Snape."

"Severus? James would never do anything for him" _yeah, when pigs fly_ she mused.

"Remember, in Fifth year when Snape followed Remus?"

"What are you talking about?" Lily wracked her brains to try to recall any such incident, but all she drew was a blank.

Helena had on odd look on her face, her eyes held a dreamy, faraway look. Inside her head her mind was racing, how could Lily have forgotten? Judging by the sincere confusion in her gaze, Helena paled. _What if she didn't know?_ Oh dear Merlin. She silently thanked the heavens that she hadn't been explicit with Lily.

Lily stared into Helena's stricken face which was half in shadow, the glow from the fire making the visible side look sallow and waxy. She was nervous.

"Forget it." She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes before she continued. "Just admit you like him and go out with him, please, for me Lils, please."

"Why should I, you can't tell me what to do! You always think you know what's best for me, just stop interfering!" Lily snapped.

Without saying another word, Helena got up and left Lily sitting alone in the common room. Alone, confused and battling with the fact that she could never deny her best friend anything.

***

Lily could hear someone crying, real, soul-wrenching sobs that came from deep within. It was only when she opened her eyes to find that she had James' shirt fisted in her hands and that it was saturated with her tears did she realise that she had been the one making that noise.

She wished she had a time-turner for every time she had said something she hadn't meant. This only sent her over the edge once again and she dissolved into further tears and laid her head back against James once again.

James could not believe that Lily had anymore tears left to cry, she had been going for an immeasurable amount of time, but this outburst seemed necessary and far be it for him to try and stop her. She clung to his shirt like it was her only lifeline in a wide raging sea.

Lily hated that she looked so weak, so feeble but the thought of letting go made her cry harder. James thought she looked so devastated that all he wanted to do was scoop her up into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be ok. But he wouldn't do it to her because it wasn't ok, it wouldn't ever be ok without Helena and well he knew it.

"Shhhh" he comforted whispering in her ear "I'm here" and that was it he could say because it was true and it was all he could offer at this point. He wished he could absorb her pain and sought to do this by wrapping his arms tighter around her and stroking her soft hair with one hand.

"I'm so sorry for how I've treated you" she choked out.

"It doesn't matter"

She blinked up at him, wide eyed pain shining in her watery eyes. Although her eyes were bloodshot, her bright green gaze burned into him, the tears only allowing the golden striates in her eyes to become even more prominent, more beautiful. James did not have time to react as Lily reached up and pulled his face down towards hers before she pressed her lips to his surprisingly soft ones. The sweet smell of flowers flooded James senses and he could taste the salt from her tears, all he wanted to do was lessen the agony that strangled her heart.

The storm that had been threatening finally broke and fell onto Hogwarts, slowly but surely gaining strength until it almost pounded the ground and both Lily and James were thoroughly drenched.

Reality slammed into Lily like a ton of bricks. What was she doing here, with James? She had some insane, misguided notion that James would try it on with her in a payment of sorts for him getting rid of Cliff. It was James who had instigated the kiss...wasn't it?

She pushed roughly away from his chest and shouted "Leave me alone, how could you!"

She faltered at the look of hurt and pain that emanated from his being. "I'm not sorry" he said evenly before he turned and walked away back to the castle.

"I'm not ready" she screamed at the uncaring wind.

"I'm not ready" she whimpered, but the sound was whipped out of her mouth and carried off by the wind once more.

Swinging wildly around so that the droplets of water flew from her hair, she began to run towards the gates and away from Hogwarts.

As Hellie would always say, there was only one way to solve a problem like this; a long, strong drink. And that was exactly what she intended to have.

**A/N: Computer decided to have a meltdown :( Please review!**


	8. Drunk

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long. Mixed POVs (Sirius, Lily, James, Severus)**

Drunk

Sirius Black never cried; He didn't cry when he broke his arm, he didn't cry when his parents disowned him, he didn't even cry when Helena died.

This was why it would be completely normal to find him propped up by a fire whiskey bottle on a stool in The Three Broomsticks.

Something so far removed from normal that it was impossible to believe, was to find Sirius Black storming into The Three Broomsticks, to find none other than Lily Evans slumped over the bar in a of drunken stupor. He did a double take, his mouth falling open in shock, and it usually took quite a lot to shock Sirius Black. Shaking the surprise from his body, he dropped onto the stool next to Lily and ordered a Dragon Scotch to go with his usual Fire Whiskey – from Lily's body language and after the day he had had, he would need it.

Sirius scanned the faces in the pub - which was relatively empty with no one in earshot - but just in case, he silently cast a Muffliato spell; he didn't want this conversation to be overheard.

He didn't know where or how to begin, but he knew he would. Maybe after a few more drinks though...

He took a long pull on something he had ordered, and he avoided looking at Lily.

"I don't know about you, but it feels like it's never going to change, never going to get better. It's shitty all the time now, inside my head , outside it, my mind keeps going over all the bad stuff I shouted at her, all those times I made her cry, all the times I didn't make her smile. I think, I think..." He trailed off and finally met her drunken gaze levelly. "What about you?"

"It's like you're reading my mind. I remember all the times we argued over...well, all the pointless arguments we had" Sirius nodded and Lily suspected he knew exactly what, or more specifically who, those pointless arguments had been about. James.

Sirius smiled bitterly, the two of them were more alike than he had first though. Neither of them would admit that they were in...well, he couldn't even think it.

To distract himself from those dangerous thoughts, he settled on the only way he knew how in order to help both him and Lily feel infinitesimally better, drink and happy memories, most of his involving Helena.

Two hours later and the good memories of Helena seemed endless.

"Do you remember the time when Lena stuffed cat food down Malfoy's trousers? Lily grinned.

"Yeah, he stunk of it for a week! Mind you he always stunk, filthy Slytherin" Sirius replied.

"Oh Malfoy and Mrs Morris – what a couple! Bonded over the love of cat food"

Both began to laugh, however the laughter became more hysterical and maniacal before their eyes met and they both burst into tears. Neither knew exactly what had caused their meltdown, but Sirius was glad that he was not alone.

Lily was now so drunk that her wailing was uncontrolled and extremely loud. In some dim recess of Sirius' mind he thanked Merlin for his idea on the earlier Muffliato spell.

He however was different, his cries were much less explosive, his were the ones which emerged as deep, soul wrenching howls, if that were possible, and his chest shuddered every time he drew breath, jaggedly dragging in air.

_So this is what caring feels like,_ he though bitterly and his eyes fuzzed angrily. He thanked Merlin for a second time that Lily was now so drunk that she would not remember this in the morning.

As Lily's cries faded, her sobs were punctuated by hiccups that jerked her weak body. Sirius dropped his head into his hands and blocked out everything. He was so wrapped up in himself that he failed to notice when Lily was silenced mid-sniffle.

There appeared to be an oxygen vacuum in the Three Broomsticks, because Lily had stopped breathing completely, her breath stolen from her lungs, her heart robbed of a beat. As she stared across to the door, her eyes stretched wide, so wide that her whole iris was exposed.

She reached out blindly and grasped onto Sirius' upper arm, her fingers claw like and tight, biting through his cloak.

Sirius turned his head slowly, not meeting her eyes. She jerked him roughly and he slowly lifted his gaze towards the icy blast of air that had invaded the Three Broomsticks through the open door. A pair of black boots dusted with...snow?

A female figure stood in the door to the inn, relatively tall with rich mahogany hair which curled around her shoulders and framed her pale face. Cobalt blue sapphires shone out of her eyes but her beautiful mouth did not curve up into the smile that Sirius knew so very, very well.

He gasped silently.

Helena. Helena Damask. Helena Damask standing in the door jamb to the Three Broomsticks. Lily blinked rapidly, the apparition not disappearing.

The look on Helena's face was one of so many emotions which warred across her features. Love. Bitterness. Sadness. With one last sorrowful blink, she turned and left, the door slamming shut after her.

Sirius was so stunned he could not function whatsoever. Lily on the other hand was suddenly shocked into action, leaping up off her stool after Helena. She burst out into the storm and looked wildly from side to side. There was no sign of Helena having ever been there. Suddenly reality slammed into Lily, her mind having finally caught up with her body and furiously reminding itself that she was not sober enough to walk straight, let alone run. She stumbled over and fell, barely catching herself with her hands which splayed out in a rapidly expanding puddle.

Her breath caught once again as a shadowy reflection fell over the puddle, punctured by raindrops, distorting it.

She was not offered a hand. She did not attempt to stand up.

"What are you doing?" Severus Snape blurted.

"Helena. I saw her. In the Broomsticks we saw her."

Severus curled his lip in disgust. Lily was evidently delusional and so drunk that she didn't even know that Helena was gone. Sirius Black was a bad influence.

"Don't be stupid. She's dead" _Well, sort of_, he added silently.

"No! I know what I saw"

"You're hallucinating Lily, she's dead and she's never coming back" Severus spoke coldly, with no emotion. He would not, could not show emotion, weakness.

"Why won't you believe me?" Lily whispered looking up at him for the first time, speaking to him rather than his reflection. Her unfocused eyes shimmered with sadness and a misplaced hope. She looked so pathetic there, in the dirty puddle with her hair plastered to her head and face that his heart squeezed painfully.

He spoke softly then. He could never resist her. "Because everyone knows she's dead. You need to move on. She would have wanted you to move on, repair broken friendships and move on. I can help you. I...I...I love you." He was sincere, he needed to be friends with her and although he hated to see Lily upset, Damask's removal had been a bonus for him. He was sick and twisted, and he had chosen a completely inappropriate moment, but he was grateful. He had finally said it.

His laying himself out to her was dangerous, and he knew it, but he couldn't help it. He knew what her answer would be, or so he thought.

Instead of pity, ire sparked in her now enraged gaze. "You liar! You're trying to do exactly what Cliff did! I knew it! And now there's no chance of finding her because you slowed me down!" She yelled and thumped her fist into the puddle.

Severus recoiled from her anger. "I'm not, I- "

"Get away from me!" Lily screamed and staggered upwards and back towards the doors of the Three Broomsticks.

Severus turned and began to run, fast. Each pounding footstep taking him away from his biggest mistake yet, his biggest hurt. He knew he should have said nothing. Even with Damask out of the picture, he still managed to mess it up, every time. The rain beating down upon his body chastised him and masked the deep thudding of his own heart, the bitter churning of his gut. He didn't stop running for a long time.

***

Sirius came barrelling out of the doors just as Lily came lurching in. "Where is she?" He asked urgently.

Lily just shook her head and burst into fresh tears. She threw her arms around his neck and bear hugged him, Sirius returning it as if they thought that each other were the only thing keeping the other afloat. Sirius was also glad that the rain was heavy enough that his tears were indistinguishable.

***

James entered the Three Broomsticks to find two sopping wet, completely inebriated people who both had red, puffy eyes – and not only from the drink.

Sirius Black was no shocker but Lily? Well now he could believe just about anything. He also quashed the twinge of jealousy he felt at the two of them being together, now was not the time for petty envy.

"Come on, let's get you two dirty stop outs back to the castle" Neither moved very fast, rather they looked dazed and confused. Sirius blinked stupidly and dragged his backside off the stool before standing, no, leaning on the bar.

Lily, unseasoned drinker that she was, dropped off her stool and weaved towards the toilets, knocking a number of stools and an elderly wizard over in the process. After righting both the disgruntled wizard and the stools, James dragged Sirius to the door and waited for Lily. She seemed relatively cognitive until they hit the cold air of Hogsmeade. She tripped and fell, causing a problem for James who had to delicately balance Sirius with one hand whilst dragging Lily to her feet at the same time, which was not easy considering their dead weights. He was beginning to get a headache from their drunken ramblings.

James grimaced. There was no way he was going to get them both back to the castle at this rate before tomorrow lunchtime. With one arm he held up Lily and Sirius and with the other he retrieved his wand from his pocket. "Accio, Nimbus 1700"

He was glad that he had left it in the broom shed rather than in his room; Moony and Wormtail would have had a heart attack if his broom had just burst out of the window. His Nimbus sailed through the dark sky with barely a whisper and he was also glad that it had stopped raining otherwise his job would have been twice as hard as it already was.

Hmm, he considered how to work this. He tried to put Sirius on the back but when James sat on it too, the combined weight was quite a lot due to their heavily muscled bodies and though Lily was not particularly heavy, the broom just couldn't support three adult weights.

"I'll walk back" Sirius croaked and began to lurch away. In the wrong direction. James sighed, turned him round, forced him onto the broom and sent it directly to their dorm. Sirius yelped and James smiled grimly. He had temporarily glued Sirius' behind and his hands to the broomstick to stop him falling off. He had no doubt that Moony would un-stick him once he heard Sirius' drunken cursing outside the window.

"But Prongs..." was all James could hear before Sirius was veiled from his view by the inky sky.

With Lily practically asleep against his bicep, he swung her up into his arms and marched towards the castle. She seemed to have a problem blinking with both eyelids at the same time, like she was so drunk that her eyelid function could not even synchronise itself. He smiled and shook his head; both she and Sirius would have massive hangovers in the morning and James was not going to be the one to play Nurse Jamesie for them. Well, not for Sirius anyway.

A small voice interrupted his thoughts.

"I'm sorry" Lily said, her eyes strangely focused on his face.

"It's ok, I understand" He replied, he completely understood the pain she felt, the anger.

"No, I'm sorry because I couldn't deal with it, not because I shouted" she smiled against his shirt. "I'm glad you said you weren't sorry too" her face became dreamy and her voice faded as she drifted off to sleep.

James thought her must have misheard her sigh of "I love you"


	9. Dark

**? POV:**

Dark

The girl woke with a jolt, face down in icy dirt. She did not open her eyes, nor did she move at all, she simply existed for who knew how long on the freezing ground, bitter cold seeping into her skin. A mindless corpse. After a time, her conscious began to return fully to her body, synapses finally sparking back to action; she became almost vital, almost but not quite.

She ached all over her body, each muscle throbbing just from the action of breathing in and out, in and out. It seemed so foreign, awkward even, like trying to make conversation with a friend she had not seen in a very long time. The air did not want to enter her lungs.

With a steely resolve, she dragged her leaden arms forward until her palms were flat on the ground either side of her head, coming to rest upon frost covered grass, the feel of each individual blade tangible. The feeling was so very vivid, that if grass had had fingerprints she was sure she would have been able to trace and recognise every single groove and ridge.

She pushed. Every muscle and tendon and bone screamed out in protest at the movement, her mind dulling until she was on all fours, head still down. She kept her eyelids closed, not wanting to see what had become of her body, what they had done to her. Subconsciously, she rubbed her neck and the fading lacerations around it. Images flickered in her mind, haunting her.

The memories began to drift back and she could not suppress them...

Darkness. That was all that existed, all that she knew. Darkness. Thoughts and feelings and images were stifled until smells and sounds became clearer, sharper because of the deprivation to her other senses. Footsteps drew near to where she sat, the gait uneven, the left foot scraping on the stone. She was dragged upright into a standing position. Suddenly, the darkness was lifted from her face and her eyes burned at the light, although dim, which caused her pupils to clench tightly in, shying away from the brightness.

A snarling voice echoed in her thoughts, pulled from a dark shadow in her 'prison'. "Look at her blood, so pure, so very pure indeed. Take it all." Cold dread swept over her already chilled body at the thought of what had occurred. Her heartbeat quickened. What had they done to her?

A memory was ripped from her subconscious and the shock nearly caused her to pass out again. The voice was so familiar...

"If she tells, I'll kill them"

The only problem was that she couldn't distinguish who the voice was, only that she knew it was someone close to them, near, them, with them possibly.

She was distracted by a smell, a familiar smell; the warm scent of a roast dinner, the fresh pine smell of the Forbidden Forest, the slightly salty tang of the Black Lake, the clean linen aftershave. The scent of home. Of him. She had to go back to save him, warn him.

Homesickness engulfed her already battered body but she disregarded this thought over a far more pressing, alarming one: she was exactly five miles south of Hogwarts Castle. Somehow she knew exactly where she was, almost as if she had a huge homing beacon in her head that could calculate her position down to the smallest increment. It was a scary realisation.

Somehow she knew it was going to rain in the next few seconds. Sure enough, as she tilted her face skywards, raindrops caressed her cheeks. It was time. She scrunched up her face and then opened her eyes. The view was shocking.

Iron grey storm clouds boiled above her through gaps in the overhanging trees. Her eyes could pick out the rainbows in each raindrop caused by the weak twilight, and separate the white light into all colours of the spectrum in a nearby puddle. Leaning forward, she peered apprehensively into the shallow water and let out a choked gasp of terror.

Her face.

Her face was beautiful.

**A/N: This is not meant to make much sense atm but it will become clear who it is if you don't already know ;)**

**Please, please, please review even if you really don't like it (or if you do) :)**


	10. Beautiful

Beautiful

It was a beautiful day for a funeral.

It was ironic that this day was one of the most beautiful Hogwarts had ever seen.

An awe inspiring sunset stained the landscape, throwing a flattering light onto all objects transforming them from the normal to mysterious and beautiful. Even Snape didn't look so ugly, Sirius thought absently.

Lily Evans sank into the seat reserved for close friends. For her. Helena's mother Amandine and father Darius sat in the front row heads close together, leaning involuntarily towards each other, joined by the weight of their grief, needing support. Lily could not bear to watch. She turned away.

James and Sirius sat either side of her, James to her left, Sirius to her right – on the end of the row nearest the centre – nearest the exit. In the days following their drunken episode, Sirius and Lily had formed a unique bond of friendship. James was not jealous for he had no need to feel threatened; Lily and James had forged their own bond, similar in a way to the one between Sirius and Lily, but so much more at the same time. It was far more intense, complicated and indescribable. It was also unmentionable on Lily's part. Whenever any one of her close friends, including even Sirius, brought it up or pointed it out, she became defensive and deflected the topic of conversation away from herself. James was far too worried about destroying their fragile friendship to even consider defining it in his own mind.

The three of them sat in silence until Remus joined the group, standing by the seat next to James. He shifted nervously from foot to foot. It was so uncharacteristic of him, that three pairs of eyes turned to watch him. The closest, a pair of hazel eyes behind round glasses looked at him quizzically; the second, bright green and almond shaped watched compassionately through pink, blood shot orbs, obviously worried about him. Lily. The final and furthest pair of eyes looked at his feet, then slowly travelled up his body to meet his stare. Sirus' gaze was glassy and distracted, a flat grey colour, which darkened every time he looked towards the front. Remus shook himself and sat down.

Finally, Professor Dumbledore stood and addressed the gathered mourners with a sorrowful gaze, looking the century old that he almost was. He sighed heavily before he began. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to-" but Sirius had already heard enough.

Ecclesiastes, he knew it well enough. Rage burned in his veins at the audacity of Dumbledore – "a time to die?"It had not been, was not Her time to die! He switched off and seethed in his seat whilst the service continued, furiously cursing in his head.

***

Finally it was over, the official, public mourning, the day when it was most acceptable to openly grieve. The sheer weight of the future without her best friend hung heavily in Lily's mind creating a severe headache. Despite being outside she felt claustrophobic and walked as fast as she could away from the group without running. She couldn't bear to look at the statue or read the plaque yet, that would take a while, it would take a long time for anything to become bearable again.

Lily raced down towards the lake; she had to feel connected to Hellie somehow. She stumbled and tripped over a stone around the edge of the lake, the momentum carrying her into the water which circled her ankles in cold rippling rings. She did not shiver from the chill, she shivered from the sense of peace that enveloped her and she gasped in relief. With shaking hands, she reached into her robe pocket and pulled out a small piece of parchment. On it was written in her own shaking handwriting:

-Hellie? Can you see me? I just want you to know that you were the best friend I could ever have asked for. You were an angel in disguise, I know it. I love you and I always will. If I ever have a daughter I'm going to call her Helen in your honour. I bet if you can hear me, you'll be laughing at how sappy I sound but I mean it, you are the best person I've ever known. I wish I had known you just a little bit longer. Bye Hellie. Miss you always. Love Lily xxx

She barely scanned it before folding it up and throwing it into the air. It fluttered slowly back towards the water's surface where it sat, barely a whisper of movement on the calm surface of the lake. There was an air of finality about this, she mused, this was truly goodbye.

She turned and waded from the lake back towards the castle. She took a deep breath of the cool clear air and pointed her wand at the bottom of her mourning robes silently muttering a drying spell. As she watched the steam evaporate from her robes she noticed a figure who she suspected was Sirius in the distance storming angrily away from the memorial towards the other side of the lake. Thinking he also needed a private goodbye, she continued across the lawn dreading the ensuing wake.

***

The beginnings of twilight were upon the grounds when Sirius finally extracted himself from the dozens of girls lining up to be his 'shoulder to cry on'. He turned away from the last, almost unshakeable girl and wandered slowly towards the plinth to commemorate Helena's life.

Due to the fact that no body had been found, there was instead a white marble lion standing on its hind claws imitating the Gryffindor crest. At the bottom, a shimmering plaque read: Helena Damask 10th December 1959 - Winter 1977, and beneath this the statement "Courage conquers all things".

Sirius laughed bitterly, "except death. Courage conquers all things except death."

**A/N: Wow it's been a long time...review please!**


	11. In Memoriam

**Mixed POV:**

In Memoriam

The image of Helena's memorial lion swirled in his mind, over and over. The angry rage he had been feeling was ripped from his mental priorities by the flash of a flame haired girl turning away from the edge of the lake. Lily. He stopped abruptly as he watched the small fragment of parchment floating away from where she had dropped it.

She looked so devastated as she walked back towards the castle that, just for a second, a terrible though flared across his mind unbidden. What if she couldn't deal with it all? What if she couldn't live without her best friend? What if it was...a -

He knew it was wrong, a violation of privacy. But since when did he give a flying Fire Whiskey about rules? He was Sirius Black for Merlin's sake.

There was a dull pounding in his ears; the sound of heavy footfalls. He realised he was running.

They said that curiosity killed the cat, but what about the dog? He didn't want to know, but he had to find out what the note said, for better or worse. He raced back around to the near side of the lake and, after taking a brief scan of the landscape to check for other students, waded into the chilly water.

Thankfully the parchment hadn't sunk or floated out too far, the dark water only reached knee depth before he found himself staring down at the small white scrap of parchment, perfectly folded, as per usual from Lily Evans.

Doubt crept into his conscience along with burning curiosity which won out eventually. As he bent to pluck the parchment from the surface, the water rippled away from his robes disturbing the glassy peace of the lake. As he straightened, however, he realised he was no longer alone.

A distorted reflection caught his eye and he gasped as it suddenly smashed to pieces. Why? Because he had fallen to his knees, shock crashing through his body leaving him winded.

Helena.

The word shot like an arrow through his heart, both pain and something else piercing him.

Helena.

This time the though galvanised his body and he whipped his now dripping hair off his face, turned and launched himself from the water in pursuit of the partially obscured figure running towards the Forbidden Forest.

"Lena" He called, not too loudly in case somebody heard him.

She didn't stop.

"Helena!" He struggled to keep her in his line of vision as she weaved through the sparse trees marking the edge of the forest.

She was gone. Urgency spurred him on, lungs burning, air tearing in and out. How could she outrun him? She was like lightning.

Luckily as he rounded a huge trunk he caught sight of her again.

"Princess!" He shouted, this time so desperate he didn't care who heard him now.

She stopped immediately.

"Princess" He repeated "Where - have you - been?" He could barely get the words past his harsh breathing. He leaned against the trunk of the nearest tree for support, both physical and mental.

She didn't answer immediately, nor did she turn around. "I-" she faltered.

He waited. He knew not to push and he himself needed time to sort through his jumbled thoughts. Relief and hope wrestled with fear inside him and he didn't trust himself to speak until she explained herself - he feared he might blurt something stupid otherwise.

Seconds ticked by and still there was silence. Eventually she sighed and began again. "I'm not sure what happened after I was kidnapped so don't ask me to explain. I'm not protecting anyone and I don't want to talk about it."

Sirius approached her slowly. He didn't touch her, just stood behind her. He didn't want her to bolt. "If you ever change your mind about that, you know that I'm always here. Are you hurt?"

"No."

Relief. He slowly lowered his head until it was resting on her shoulder, his face in her hair. He breathed in deeply and let out a shuddering sigh. "I've missed you so much" He whispered.

The weight of his head was comforting and his mere presence filled her with calm. She was home.

"I've missed you so much" Sirius whispered in her ear.

Just hearing him say that almost sent her over the edge of her self- imposed calm, she wanted to breakdown and sob finally knowing she was safe. Well, as safe as she could be considering the threat they were under. Standing here with Sirius this close, however, danger seemed to melt away, all sense of urgency seeping from her mind.

His arms wrapped around her body and he hugged her tightly silently telling her how much he had missed her too.

"Turn around"

She took a deep, steadying breath before complying with his request, however, she kept her eyes closed, afraid that if she opened them he would disappear and she would blink and find herself alone in the dark once again.

"Look at me, Lena, please. I need to make sure – I need this"

It was the fact that his voice sounded like it would break that made her open her eyes. She kept her gaze lowered however, staring straight at his chest. He was wearing black mourning robes. She could tell they were expensive, she could see every fibre expertly woven together.

She inhaled sharply as she realised he smelled very different to the last time she had seen him. Of course he still carried the unmistakeable bouquet of clean linen, but there were subtle nuances to his personal scent now. She could almost visualise his scent as a musical score in her mind; the tone shifting from the bitter, acridity of fear to the fragrant, vanilla-like smell of relief. Odd.

The various smells were so potent that she could taste them; in fact, she was so aware of him on every sensory level, it was as if all of his senses had been blown wide open and her newfound hypersensitivity allowed her to experience him as she never had before.

She was half afraid of what she might see if she looked up. Her acute eyesight would miss nothing, and he wouldn't be blind or stupid enough not to notice that her face looked different.

"Please"

She slowly dragged her eyes up to meet his.

Sirius had expected something to be different, but not this, never this. This change was inexplicable, yet blindingly obvious to him. Her face was unchanged yet completely new. He struggled to peg exactly how, but he just knew. Her face was pale, it always had been, but there was a subtle iridescence to it now making her glow slightly in the dusky shadows of the trees. Her eyes were still the same shade of cobalt blue with their icy flecks but there was a new depth to them, like she was carrying a thousand year old secret that was crushing her soul. It scared him.

She was the same, but she was more beautiful - if that were possible - superficially perfect.

The only outward sign Sirius gave of shock was a twinge of the muscle in his jaw, and Helena was highly grateful that he had remained calm. Someone needed to be.

"What-" Sirius began.

"I-I don't know. I woke up and I looked in a puddle and – well – I looked like...this."

Sirius let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding and briefly closed his eyes.

"How can you possibly have been taken by someone, and come back looking...better than when you left?"

Helena tensed as she sensed his anger begin to rise. He released her and began to pace in front of her.

"I don't know."

"I never gave up looking for you - hoping -" his words were tangled, "hoping that I would find you. You don't know how much I've missed you!" He stopped pacing and stood before her. "It felt like someone had come along and ripped my chest open." He paused. "It hurt, so much, right here" He thumped his left pectoral with a fist. Right over where his heart was.

Her own chest tightened.

He drew closer. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" He demanded. His stormy grey eyes blazed with wild desperation as he inched closer.

"I think-" Helena could hear his pulse beating heavily in her ears, taste his desire.

He cut her off mid thought with his lips on hers. She reacted immediately, kissing him back with everything she had. His tongue slid across her lips, warm and soft. She opened her mouth to give him access and his tongue swept into her mouth as his arms surrounded her. With the sensations of his hands on her body and the onslaught of passion to her senses she was almost overwhelmed. She could feel the blood rushing around his body, hear it, smell it...taste it.

Taste it.

Oh dear Merlin.

Her head jerked away from his as a sharp pain engulfed her mouth. She ran her tongue over her teeth but nothing had changed except a dull throbbing in her incisors.

Helena glanced at Sirius in time to see him flick his tongue over his bottom lip which she saw had two small ruby red droplets of blood glistening on it.

Suddenly, the reason why she had come back to Hogwarts slammed into her body, like someone throwing a bucket of icy water all over her, everything became completely clear.

"Sirius, there's something I need to tell you-"

She didn't know what she was going to say. She imagined the reaction she would get if she said: "Oh, by the way, Sirius, there's someone at school who's out to get you but I don't know who." She reasoned that it would sound pretty stupid considering half the school suspected the other of Death Eater activity at the moment so it would be nothing new. No, she needed to do some sleuthing before she told her friends, and she needed to be quick about it as time was of the essence. An attack could occur at any time.

"Later" He said jubilantly. He seemed to have recovered sufficiently because he grabbed her hand and steered her towards the castle. "We need to tell everyone! Come on!"

"No!" She barked. Her resolve softened as she saw his grin fade. "What I mean is, let's keep this between just you and me for the moment. I need some head space and I can't deal with attention right now. Ok? Please."

She couldn't deal with more people she cared about being put in danger. The less people that knew, the better.

"Anything. Anything you want. Look, why don't I sneak you up to my dorm? James' is in the Heads' dorm, Remmie's out tonight," he winked, "and Pete's off Merlin knows where doing Merlin knows what...he's always busy these days."

"Erm..."

He knew she was wavering.

"You can wear Jamsie's invisibility cloak if you like?"

"Ok, but-" She acquiesced.

"Let's go then. There's a secret passageway just by the lake that should do nicely..."

Helena's mind switched off from Sirius' cheerful ramblings as he towed her out of the Forbidden Forest into the hazy twilight of the grounds, her thoughts now returning to the strange incident involving Sirius' blood and the even more terrible flashes of memory from her dark prison.

**A/N: Please review, I know it's been a long time but I love to know what you guys all think!**


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